I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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