I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
50% drunk capacity currently
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
