Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
