wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm always down for nudity.
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