Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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