You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
