I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
