one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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