They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
