my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
