Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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