margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
