Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
