Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you have to choose: penises or morals?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
