its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
