We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
