Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
