I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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