Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
