idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
