Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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