Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
God I need to hump something, right now.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
