found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
