um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
