I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
They are going to name an STD after you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
