I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
