i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
