i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
