two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
