I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
