8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
