thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
