i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
