My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
