Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
A bitchslap is in order.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize