She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
