I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
