Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
