So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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