i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
