i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
