I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
