Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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