bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
