I think my fart just growled at me.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
