When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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