nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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