Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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