the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
