All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
