yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
it glows. i had to have it.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
