he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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