drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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