I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Sorry about my life...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
