we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
