Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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